BENDY BACKS AND KNOCKING KNEES

I firmly believe that God made us the way we are for a particular reason and allows us to go our way on a daily basis for a particular reason. Where are the exercises, the kind which are supposed to keep you agile and fighting fit and also give you longevity, scheduled in this span of time? 

I also believe in the theory of coincidences and so it cannot be mere chance that each time I read some delicious blogspots, especially those of Swati Sucharaita's, the next item that pops up both on FB and Insta is on how to have a flat stomach or lose all that fat hanging around the arms. I mean, how telling. Quite often I choose to ignore the said chronology, but somewhere at the back of my mind is that little bubble growing, everyday, ready to burst. Before that could happen, I hired myself a trainer, with the easiest of name Bibo.

I have known Bibo for a very long time, when I used to do video film reviews for Newstime and used to collect the latest DVDs from Fribzi, next to that all nighter place Silver Plate. They would give me the latest DVDs and then also put up cuttings of my review if they thought it was a good one. It suited all of us.

Cut to three years back, I was entering Mountain Bakery, that treasure trove of delicious sandwiches and other baked goods. I recognised her pronto and enquired about the DVD shop and she looks me up and down and says, "Maam, you have put on a little weight." And that won my heart, just the word `little'.

I don't think I was ever `small' even when I was born and so on. But she sounded concerned and then went on to add that she was a trainer and can do wonders for me and gave me her number. These were the days when having a personal trainer meant you are important. That particular time is dedicated entirely to you and all attention showered upon you. Sounds good, eh?

Well, I fell for that concept and said I would like her to come and be my trainer and so on. She has been coming home for some time now and those of you who have seen me in recent times are not going to blink and say `Gee, Lalita, what happened? You look stunning'. That day might not happen ever. And I will tell you why.

She comes in the morning, around 6 am and she takes off. We do the usual warmups, stretches and this takes about 6 minutes and by which time, I am taking deep breaths through my mouth, Bibo's voice echoing in my ears and the volume of her counting the reps increases. And I am immediately pushed to the wall and have told her off, saying she is not giving me enough breaks and probably this whole thing is not sitting well with me.

She immediately calms down and tells me not to get discouraged and that this happens with people my age😏😏. The next day I start getting imaginary pains and call her up and tell her to come for the next class. So, in other words, in the last three years, I have probably stretched my muscles for 50 odd days and never at a stretch. I am scared I will pull a muscle, spring an ache.   

But then, as I mentioned earlier, the videos regarding `sitting is the new smoking', are relentless, making me think a little. Don't like the thoughts, but then they are there. So, Bibo is back these day, early in the morning and when I am gulping down huge breaths, she says `come on, come on, you can do it.' 

The only way I can get her off my back is doing the reps meticulously or snapping at her. I am also beginning to believe that someone out there knows that my muscles are not stretched sufficiently and these exercise videos are just a reminder. 

Well, I am in a particular state of mind, as if that is not exercise enough, but I am also doing knee lifts, side steps and push ups vigorously. I have a pair of dumb bells, which Bibo thinks I must use more often......

Here's to a more agile me.....